Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Rambling bits

Thank goodness the womanchild has a research project she has to complete. Library time is mandated. I've really missed reading blogs in my computer absence, and when I was here last, I noticed that my blogroll had gone missing from my sidebar. Apparently, it's gone missing from Bloglines as well. Every single one of my blog notifications is gone, and I will have to rebuild the blogroll. Knowing how much time that takes, it might have to wait until I get internet service at home again. It's a little funny that I completely forgot that this is the week that The Artist's Way mandates a reading fast. I knew this was lurking out there, but I didn't expect it this soon.

A week without reading is so hard for me, and well, now, it's even harder. We gave up cable television months ago, which means that we receive one channel with a lot of snow when the weather is just right. Fortunately, the channel we receive carries House. So, no TV, no computer, and now no books, while I'm dieting and trying yet again to quit smoking while having to keep an extra calm atmosphere in my home for the womanchild's health? A woman can only be so strong. However, every time I work through The Artist's Way, I get amazing gifts, different every time, but always amazing. So, I can be strong enough to give up reading for four and a half more days.

I had a short job interview yesterday. It went well enough for the company to have called me back for another interview tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed, say prayers, think positive thoughts and send positive, loving get the job energy my way please. Tomorrow's interview will be my third with this company. Generally, multiple interviews are a good sign. After the last couple of months though, I no longer take that for granted.

I interviewed three times for what was practically my dream job for now. (Theresa, I'm still looking seriously at graduate schools. It's a question of getting there and getting everything else I need to take care of done as well.) Needless to say, I didn't get it. I was also interviewing with another company for a job for which I was extremely well qualified. I felt comfortable with the people. Their process was incredible. I had a short face to face interview with the branch manager. Then we had a longer telephone interview. Then we had another face to face interview. Then I interviewed with the regional VP. He referred me on to a telephone interview with the president of the company. After I spoke with him, I screened and accepted their offer. On my way home from accepting the job, I was calling friends and family and telling them to celebrate. Then the company called me and said that their corporate office hadn't finalized everything they needed to hire me, and they would call me on Monday. On that Monday, when they called, they rescinded the job offer with no explanation given. Now, my employment history is even more transparent than my blog. I called my references. They hadn't been contacted. I still don't know what happened.

That is the strongest example of the biggest of the difficulties I've been going through. The financial restriction is a temporary thing. We all go through periods of fat and lean, and I know this will change. I know my separation is right, and the husband is starting to act human again. The womanchild's health, though frustrating, is manageable, and we have a wonderful, caring doctor. But the damn rejection I've faced has taken a toll on me. I'm truly grateful for my anti-depressants now, because I feel tense about it all, not hopeless and despairing. Stressed is really much better than depressed.

I just have to keep reminding myself that I'm a hard working, talented woman who will be an asset to any company and keep working at finding the opportunities. I'm doing so many positive affirmations that I sound like a parody of a parody of self help programs, but that's the way it goes.
Well, my time is once again up on my computer lifeline, but I'll check in again as soon as I can.


Blogger Lisa :-] said...

I know this is probably not helpful, but I would rather walk over burning coals than look for a job again. That's one reason why I have my own business now. I spent the better part of ten years looking for a damned job. And it is the least life-affirming occupation in the world.

That said, I'm sending as much positive energy as I can muster in your direction...

November 13, 2007 1:07 PM  
Blogger gigi said...

You are a hard working, talented woman who will be an asset to any company. And people like you.**

There; I said it today so you won't have to. And I mean it.

**This moment has been brought to you by Stuart Smalley; self-affirming our clients since 1978. :)

November 13, 2007 3:15 PM  
Blogger Theresa Williams said...

Blogger keeps cutting me off, so I'm gonna hurry. I'm so glad you are looking into graduate schools. love, love, love, Theresa

November 13, 2007 5:20 PM  
Blogger emmapeelDallas said...


Hang in there. I was out of work for 18 months and just before I found my present job, a recruiter took it upon herself to tell me that I would never get back into any sort of job requiring my skillset "because you've been out of the workforce too long". Uh-huh. A real day brightener, that one. Within a month, though, I had 4 job offers, including the one I accepted. My present employer didn't give a flip that I'd been unemployed for 18 months - they were happy to get me. That will happen for you, too, and I KNOW it will happen, because you're a hard working, talented woman who will be an asset to any company. And people like you.


Sending good thoughts your way...


November 17, 2007 1:06 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

I stole your blogroll - bwahahaha - and I'm selling it on ebay ;)

Fingers crossed for you on the job front. Alexis has been looking for a job she wants to do before rejoining the workforce. I can appreciate the difficulty you are going through with that...it's hard and can be a blow to your ego when you don't get a job you interviewed for. I just told her that they were REJECTING her, they just SELECTED someone else. Hang in there Cynthia!

November 18, 2007 10:13 AM  

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