Thursday, November 30, 2006

The weekly weigh in, week 11

Icame into this diet knowing that weight was entwined with many other issues, but it still surprises me how extensive and entangled avoirdupois can be. Tuesday, when I took the womanchild to the doctor, I asked if I could step on the scales. It showed that I had actually lost a little over a pound. Considering that this came after three Thanksgiving dinners and two huge meals out, I was pleased. That same day, my diuretics prescription ran out, and today was the first day I could have it filled. Tonight when I stepped on the scales at my Weight Watchers meeting, I had gained 2.8 pounds since last week's weigh in.

No big deal. Between the holiday food and the lag in the prescription, I wasn't surprised, and this gain will be only temporary. It slays me that I'm taking this in stride, and my net loss so far is still over 28 pounds. Yes, I'm proud and happy. I love seeing and feeling the changes in my body and my energy level. I was so used to feeling bad every day that I didn't realize how bad I felt or what a difference the weight loss would make. I can only imagine how I'll feel when more pounds come off.

Despite how well I've done, I've got my fingers crossed that this can continue. My insurance, a state sponsored program for minors and those who cannot obtain insurance, is paying for the bulk of this. How about that? An insurance program is actually pro-active about improving general health,,

I came into this diet
knowing that weight was entwined with many other issues
not just necessity only, after the fact treatment. I'm very grateful for this. Going without insurance is a nightmare, and my weight and struggles with depression are the reasons that I have been unable to obtain other insurance. It has, of course, required a pre-approval to participate, and that pre-approved period ran out tonight.

I've been contacting the necessary people, but they're swamped and have not gotten back to me to renew the pre-authorization for me to continue. I'm just hoping that they will be able by next week's meeting. Even if they don't, I plan to continue doing this on my own. I know that decreases the chances of continued success. Despite some of the negatives I've seen in a weight loss support group, it's still very helpful. Frankly, I need the support and understanding of people who are going through the same process now. Besides helping me feel like I have some control over this body, this has reaffirmed to me that I need more contact with people in a non-professional setting. That's one lesson this introvert is still continuing to learn, and I can feel a greater sense of balance in this area of my life.

There are times when I think that placing too high a value on independence contributes to loneliness. We're taught to look up to and emulate people who did things on their own. We're taught to find our own inner resources for accomplishment. These things are important. Self-reliance is an absolutely essential skill, but it shouldn't come at the cost of losing connectedness with other people, and it shouldn't be accompanied by an inflated ego telling us how special we are because we can do things on our own.

In this one week alone, I've experienced how weight affects not only energy and stamina, but finances, independence, humility and relationships. That's a lot of stuff to hang on each spoonful of food.

diet, weight loss, Weight Watchers


Blogger Lisa :-] said...

Now...I didn't like the tone of that last sentence. It puts TOO much importance on that "spoonful of food." For me, it helped to finally get into the place of understanding that my weight was something I (the control freak of control freaks) could gain at least a modicum of control over. You control it. It doesn't control you. Once you understand that you are in control of what you put in your mouth it becomes a little simpler.

December 01, 2006 12:57 AM  
Blogger Stephen Bess said...

Hang in there and pray for strength, guidance and direction. I often pray for strength through difficult situations. I hope you don't mind me saying so, but it helps. :)

December 01, 2006 8:34 AM  
Blogger Shelina said...

How do you get the headline / quotation things? I think they are cool.

December 02, 2006 3:38 PM  
Blogger ChasingMoksha said...

You will make up for it, I know it.

December 06, 2006 11:59 AM  

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