Getting ready
Even with a lack of official New Year's resolutions, I can still feel the urge within me to do things better, to make improvements, to dump old, self-destructive habits and replace them with healthier ones. It's hard to ignore a lifetime's training. Honestly that urge is with me pretty much all the time, but it's more acute this time of the year. I think it's affecting other people as well. Vicky of My Incentive wrote about facing obstacles today. Wenda of Daring to Write wrote about the power of washing dishes. In both I found a sense of setting the stage for things to come.
That's really what organization, cleaning and creating order are all about to me -- getting ready. I have the urge to clear the deck and get on with the real work, the fun stuff, the activities which mean something to me and truly help define who I am. I just need to make sure that I don't get hung up in getting ready. That's such a trap for me. I can spend so much time trying to make the humdrum details of my life easier to manage so I can fit in the good stuff that I don't give enough time to the really important things. My left brain calls me to use the time management tools I've learned from the countless books and seminars I've studied. It's a good idea, but I take it too far and let time management become a trap as well, devoting too much time to planning.
Underneath these nerve and time nibbling details, I know that there are two big answers to my preparatory dilemma. The first is that I have to know and value my dreams and goals more highly than I value the expectations of other people. That's a hard one for me. I'm not used to going first. The needs of family and friends and the goals of the companies I've worked for have always taken precedence. The second answer is a commitment to action. It's so easy for me to be lazy. I'm not proud of it, but it's true. It's so easy and so enjoyable to dream, but I want to get the dreams out of my head.
Value who I am and act on it. It sounds so easy. Let's just see how it goes.
That's really what organization, cleaning and creating order are all about to me -- getting ready. I have the urge to clear the deck and get on with the real work, the fun stuff, the activities which mean something to me and truly help define who I am. I just need to make sure that I don't get hung up in getting ready. That's such a trap for me. I can spend so much time trying to make the humdrum details of my life easier to manage so I can fit in the good stuff that I don't give enough time to the really important things. My left brain calls me to use the time management tools I've learned from the countless books and seminars I've studied. It's a good idea, but I take it too far and let time management become a trap as well, devoting too much time to planning.
Underneath these nerve and time nibbling details, I know that there are two big answers to my preparatory dilemma. The first is that I have to know and value my dreams and goals more highly than I value the expectations of other people. That's a hard one for me. I'm not used to going first. The needs of family and friends and the goals of the companies I've worked for have always taken precedence. The second answer is a commitment to action. It's so easy for me to be lazy. I'm not proud of it, but it's true. It's so easy and so enjoyable to dream, but I want to get the dreams out of my head.
Value who I am and act on it. It sounds so easy. Let's just see how it goes.
posted by Cynthia at
10:40 PM
5 Comments:
I hope you don't mind if I quote some of this in the entry I'm working on. (If you do, you'd better tell me soon!)
Ya know Cynthia, your very last few sentences would sum it up for me...
It is grand to dream, it is a feeling of inner euphoria to place them where only we can reach and touch them..
For years my dreams were and still are right where they have always been...in front of me. Yet I hesitate to move to grasp them, so much more involved then just running with them, so many other factors just seem to skew the view of them...
I am my own worse enemy.
I think, okay I know I can have them...I know I can. Yet if I do, that would make them real. Concrete. Then they are just not my own, they are then visible for all to see, to touch.
Not sure If I want that.
Nice ponderings...and from what I read and feel of you? Your dreams are as far as mine. Reach for them Cynthia...reach.
Peace
Jodi
This entry reminded me of a TERRIBLE habit my mom always had and which all five of her daughters nonetheless inherited: you can't go on vacation without making the house spotless first. The theory was that, after a long trip away from home, one would feel relaxed and grateful to come home to a clean and comfortable house (nothing would be worse than coming home from vacation to a house you'd have to clean...). And, mind, it IS a great theory. But the torture of the obsessed screaming and cleaning that made us all hysterical before we left would ruin the vacation anyway. *sigh*
But it DID feel good to come home to a clean house--a home that was never clean at any other time in the history of my childhood.
At any rate, yes, sometimes over-planning is WAY over-rated. And also YES, it is IMPORTANT and HEALTHY and HELPFUL TO OTHERS to be "selfish" and put our own needs first. You will find yourself BETTER ABLE to help others, and you will be pretty darn surprised what happens with that "commitment to action as well.
Love ya, hon. Happy New Year.
Paula
http://journals.aol.com/paulajlambert/PaulaLambert-Author
And thanks for introducing me to Wenda of Daring to Write. She's awesome--I've bookmarked her.
And sorry for my once-again way-too-long comments!
;)
Paula
"The first is that I have to know and value my dreams and goals more highly than I value the expectations of other people." Oh yes, yes. That is so hard. And the temptation to relax back on what has been accomplished so far is so strong.
Thanks for your eloquence, my dear. Know that you are not alone.
Vicky
http://www.livejournal.com/users/vxv789/
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