A toast

I've known intellectually for a long time that the holiday season and depression have gone hand in hand. It wasn't until I got to be a somewhat mature woman though that I experienced it or even really saw it among the people I knew. I still don't know if this is because of the present-a-perfect-image world in which I grew up or if the people I knew in my younger days just escaped this particular malady. Until I was well into my 20s, the only negative thing I saw anybody experience about Christmas was hostess stress and the over closeness of family.

That pales to the sadness that so many people feel during this time or how it stands out even more sharply because of what we think we should be feeling or doing. This year, it seems to be more widespread than usual. Maybe it's because my friends and I are getting older. Many of us are dealing with parents who are developing the difficulties of old age, illnesses which don't go away and minds which don't stay. Others are helping their children as they handle their first adult crises of unexpected job loss, marriage breakups, illness and the mixed feelings that come with an unanticipated pregnancy. So many people have experienced financial setbacks over the last few years that I know more and more people who are struggling just to cover the basics. Many of these people once regarded themselves as too smart or too industrious to ever have this type of problem.

I've never been one to say that times are getting harder. I pretty much think that times have always been difficult. It's only the nature of the problems that change. I also think that we have culturally lost some stoicism over the years. People being open about their problems, okay, even whining about them, has become a hallmark of our times. While this openness does enable us to act on problems more quickly, it does make our world seem sadder than it is.

Happiness has become a scarcity, and that has increased its value. Like the visibly flawed, quarter carat diamond engagement rings so many of my early-to-wed college friends proudly flaunted, little things are bringing joy. Lifting my glass: Here's to the friend who found that she hadn't rolled over a 401k from a job she left years ago and that cashing it in would bring her delinquent mortgage current. Here's to the family whose son detoxed in jail and is still sober a week later. Here's to the young man who found a hundred dollar bill literally stuck to the bottom of his shoe, making it possible for him to go home for Christmas. Here's to the girl whose company decided at the last minute to reinstate an annual cash bonus, making it possible for her to buy Christmas presents. Here's to the four week sample pack of Zolofft I found at the bottom of a laundry hamper filled with old papers to be filed.

Here's to happiness. Here's to cosmic surprises. Here's to little blessings. Here's to light in the middle of darkness. Here's to the hope which sustains and nurtures us all.