Of migraines and menopause
Hormonal changes and migraines, that’s why I haven’t been so surprised that they’ve become a problem again. There’s no denying my age and that menopause is lurking. It’s coming sooner than I expected though. You see, I need a hysterectomy. It’s not just my imagination. It’s my official diagnosis. I have a pre-cancerous condition called atypical endometrial hyperplasia.
What this has meant so far is that blood and pain are my regular companions. It’s also meant that I have a lot of things to arrange. Surgically, a hysterectomy is no big deal any more. For me, losing my uterus is no emotional big deal. I feel blessed to have had one, but at fifty, I certainly had no plans for more children. It’s just complicated when you have no insurance and you live alone.
I’ve accepted that debt will always be a part of my life, but one emergency room visit, two doctor’s appointments and resulting lab work have come to more than a month’s income for me. I have to think about what hospital bills and recovery time will mean. Recovery will be two weeks if I’m lucky, six weeks if I’m not. When you live paycheck to paycheck, the possibility of nearly two months with no income is seriously frightening. Also complicated is what I’ll do if I need help while I’m recovering.
So, I’m coping with a fair amount of stress, another contributing factor to the constant migraines, which contribute to the lack of energy and lack of ability to focus to get everything arranged before I can schedule the surgery. As in so many other areas of my life, I feel caught in some circular maze. Theseus tied a red string to guide him back out of the maze. It just leads me deeper in.