So, in lieu of trying to pin down these inchoate thoughts, I'll simply say I'm tired. That seems to be my primary modus operandi lately. I get up, make extra strong coffee, take my vitamins, extra B12, extra iron because I've been anemic, and ginseng. I'll fix breakfast, and by the time I finish my meal, I'm worn out again. My steps are slow, and after even fifteen minutes of a chore like yard work or mopping, I want to rest. I feel old, and worse, I feel lazy because I'm not getting done what I feel like I should be able to accomplish.
I don't like this, so, I'm trying to readjust. First, I try to give myself credit for what I do get done. I've lost count of how many times I've said, "It doesn't have to be perfect, just show some progress." That helps for a few minutes. I'm trying to do what it takes to build more energy, a balanced diet, the aforementioned vitamins and supplements, and some exercise that won't put to the point of collapse. I'm also asking myself if this is what I need to expect at my age and weight. Even a big dreamer knows that realistic expectations have some benefits.
Now, this dreamer is going to fix a cup of chamomile tea and try to get a decent night's rest. That isn't a very realistic expectation, but I simply have to try.