After feeling the need to hide away for so long, that almost feels like a miracle. It also makes me feel grateful for the people who've let me reappear in their lives after a notable absence. The efforts may have been small, but after long months of feeling like all I had to offer anyone was toxicity, they've required an amount of courage I won't disrespect.
Then, there's everyone else, this whole world. It's full of interesting, kind, funny, smart, fascinating people. It's been my luck lately to begin getting to know a few, and unsurprisingly, my insecurities kicked in. Why would someone who can do all these things and has been all these places want to get to know someone like me, who's had such narrow boundaries on my life for awhile now? That's a question that initially made me want to go hide again, but I paused and took a breath. I acknowledged the good stuff inside those old border lines and the changes I'm trying to make to push out the limitations I've had on my life. The kind of people I really want to know will appreciate what's there, and each new connection is expanding my territory.
I'm not going to keep putting my life on hold because it's not where I feel it ought to be to be good enough for other people.