The process behind PAD 13

The PAD 13 prompt was very difficult for me. I don't really have a hobby, the subject of the prompt. I don't scrapbook. I don't take photographs. I don't garden. I don't draw. I used to make beaded jewelry, but that didn't last very long, and there are only so many bracelets, necklaces and earrings a woman can wear. All of these can be hobbies for some, passions, avocations or professions for others. There are really only two things that fall into that category of an activity like that for me. Reading and writing. Yet reading is more like food and oxygen to me; you don't spend your spare time with something that's necessary. Now writing ... It's been a small business, it's been a defining attribute of my identity, it's been a passion, it's been a method of healing (yesterday's bone scraping PAD entry proof of that), and at times, it's been a gigantic pain in the ass. Nope, that's not a hobby. So what counts as a hobby for me -- dreaming. Some would say that's the source of all creativity. But it's how I enjoy epending my free time.

Over and over yesterday, I played the video I posted in my last entry. I watched it again just a few minutes ago, and for the first time, I didn't cry. It was still a close call. Susan Boyle is my hew hero, and I loved the song she sang so much I had to look up the lyrics. They're so sad and in the context of her initial reception on Britain's Got Talent, I find them even more poignant. You just know that's not the first time, people have rolled their eyes at her or snickered. This plain 47 year old woman has been singing since she was 12, dreaming for 35 years of using her incredible voice professionally. I just wonder how many people never listened because they got stopped at her unremarkable appearance. If you watched the video, you couldn't help getting caught up in her incredible vocal instrument. Adding the lyrics gives new depth to her giggle, her "cheeky smile," and her joking manner. Yes, I have a new hero, and despite how painful and rewarding dreaming can be I know what my hobby is now.

I Dreamed A Dream (Les Miserables)

I dreamed a dream in times gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving

Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung
No wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed
The dream I dreamed.