Sunday, February 01, 2009

Proud pudding

The other day I was reading Judi's blog and she mentioned that she was eating rice pudding. I haven't had rice pudding since I was a little girl when my grandmother made it. I enjoyed it then but didn't love it the way I loved other food, like her red velvet cake. The idea of rice pudding though just captured something in me and wouldn't let go. It sounded cozy. I could almost feel a homey warmth building within me.

Last night I came home from an absolutely crazy day at work where I saw some really ugly behavior over absolutely small stuff. Then I found that the dogs had strewn the kitchen garbage can over half the house, and something had disagreed with the cat's tummies all over my laundry room floor. How fitting, how wonderful. After, I'd picked up, thrown away and mopped up, I was exhausted, too wound up to sleep, and eating anything was unappealing.

Come midnight, I was finally hungry and still wide awake. Another frozen dinner or PB&J sandwich just wasn't going to cut it. I really wanted rice pudding, and I decided that I was going to have it. I'd never made rice pudding, so I looked online for a simple recipe. I found one that looked easy enough except for one thing -- a slow two hour and a half hour cooking time. I also didn't have any raisins or white sugar but decided that brown sugar would do. As alert as I was, I decided to go for it. Cutting the recipe in half took an hour off the cooking time, and I read blogs while my house filled up with a creamy, nutmegy, cinnamony aroma.

Around two in the morning, I had a cereal bowl sized serving of fresh, hot from the oven rice pudding. The texture was perfect, smooth enough and firm enough. It was subtly sweet and delicate without being bland. I sat there smiling for a good hour after I finished my pudding. It felt so good to cook something from scratch just for me. I wrote the other day about not really cooking for myself and feeling alienated from my own kitchen since I've been alone. Last night was a small but significant change. I knew what I wanted. I decided I was worth it. I took action, and I succeeded. It may have just been rice pudding, but I'm proud.


Blogger emmapeelDallas said...

I'm sitting here smiling, reading this. YES, you are worth it, always, and that's a good thing to remember. I love that you made it work, even though at first it didn't appear that you had what you needed. You persisted (knew what you wanted, decided you were worth it, took action). It feels so good to take action and succeed. You go, Cyn!



February 02, 2009 2:16 AM  
Blogger Songbird said...

It sounds wonderful. Congratulations on taking such good care of yourself, you *are* worth it!

February 02, 2009 6:29 AM  
Blogger Magdalene6127 said...

And you may have passed the "must. have. rice. pudding!" bug along to your readers... I'm digging out Fanny Farmer right now...

A sweet entry.

You are worth it. Amen.

February 02, 2009 6:56 AM  
Blogger Lisa :-] said...

I think it was a deal more than "just" rice pudding...


February 02, 2009 8:01 AM  
Blogger Indigo said...

I think the concensus is, you made us all smile with this entry dear one. You are so worth the effort. I'm proud of you! (Hugs)Indigo

February 02, 2009 8:12 PM  
Blogger redsneakz said...

You gave me warm fuzzies. I'm going to go home and make some for my sweetie tonight. She needs it.

February 05, 2009 3:11 PM  

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