Sometimes, both sanity and insanity come in the form of a kitten. Our rescued kitten attached itself to me, and I fell in love with the little thing. He's affectionately named Motormouth for two reasons. He was rescued from being stuck in a car engine, and he talks all the time. If I didn't love the furball, he'd be really annoying. It's really hard though not to love something that adores you so completely.
As I'm writing, he's stretched out on my bosom, his head reclining on my upper right arm. Every now and then, he'll stretch, rearrange himself and reach up to pat me on the face. As soon as I look down, he'll stretch up and rub my nose with his. After that, he starts purring deep and low. I can feel it vibrating through his entire body. It's been a point of grace when I've felt like such a failure at everything important in my life that this little kitten has loved me so completely. I can't be all that bad if something loves me like this. Right? Right? That's where the sanity has come in. He helps me find my perspective and realize that though I've been struggling with some challenges, I'm not the total loser my worst self would have me believe I am.
The insanity is this. The vet estimated he was six weeks old when C. found him. He was eating cat food but still wanted to nurse and our mother cat, Dusty (a beautiful white and gray tabby descendant of our coon cats), would have nothing to do with him, even though her kittens were just a few weeks older. She was weaning them and nothing would change her mind.
I woke up one morning with a tiny slurping and tug at my ear. Motormouth had latched on to my earlobe as if it were indeed the mother lode. I pulled away, and his tiny teeth held on until I picked him up and put him down. I can't sit down without him climbing up on me, and every time, he tries to nurse on my ear. This comedy goes on several times a day.
The vet warned us that he might be brain damaged due to the high temperature his body had reached stuck in a car engine on a southern summer day. I know I'm only inches away from being a crazy cat lady, but this is even too much for me.