The weekly weigh in, week 27

you couldn't tell I was on a diet this week. The too easy reason is that a friend made a bunch of homemade pizzas and gave me one. She makes her own crust from scratch using high gluten flour and tops it with fresh mozzarella from a local dairy, special order artisan Italian sausage, herbs from her greenhouse, and organic peppers and mushrooms that she grew and canned herself. I am talking pizza heaven, and I nibbled on it all weekend.

The real reason is the pizza was just part of an emotional eating binge that was a cheap effort to run away from some emotions I just didn't want to feel. For three days I didn't even try to track my points. For the other four days, I did track my points but didn't stay within my recommended range. The scales showed a 4.3 pound gain. I deserve every ounce of it.

At least I did track my food the last four days, even when my food journal showed just how badly I ate, just how little water I drank and how little exercise I did. It just irks me that I didn't have fun gaining the weight. It's bad enough to gain but to feel just honking miserable when you're doing so is worse.

I'm still struggling with my insurance company to continue coverage of Weight Watchers. I have all the brochures now. I'm familiar enough with the program to continue it on my own, but I've found that meetings really help me. They sometimes irritate the heck out of me. I've been on so many diets by now that the information presented is rarely new, but the group support does make a difference. Once a week, people know just exactly how I feel, sympathize over weeks like this one and cheer when I do well. That's why I want to continue, and the insurance coverage makes it possible.

The problem is that their computer records show that I missed three meetings, and that disqualifies the continuation of my coverage. I've only missed two weeks out of the twenty four official insurance covered Weight Watchers meetings though, and my attendance book reflects that. I've spoken with the WW representative from their regional office who manages the Tenncare membership, and I faxed her a copy of my attendance book. However, I haven't heard back, and tonight I wanted the people who actually knew me to guide me on my next step and possibly send a letter to the office in question. With my luck running as usual, tonight there were substitutes for the regular instructors. I did however get another name and number to contact.

Tenncare is a state sponsored insurance program for those who cannot obtain insurance through other programs. My weight is the reason I've been repeatedly rejected for private insurance. This cooperative program between Weight Watchers and Tenncare could enable me to return to regular insurance. For once, this is actually a proactive program that can get people living a healthy life and not just getting treatment for an illness. I know that one person's experience doesn't qualify as proof, but I'm walking without pain for the first time in years. My blood pressure has gone from being consistently high to sporadically high, my energy level is significantly higher, and my Body Mass Index has dropped by over 11 points. I'm still obese, but I've come a long way and want to go further.

I am going to go further. There's no way around that, and I'll fight to get the help I need.

Weekly Summary: Weekly gain -- 4.3 pounds, Total loss -- 50.7 pounds, Average weekly loss -- 1.84 pounds

health and wellness, diet, weight loss, Weight Watchers, Tenncare, emotional eating