You spin me right round

It's no secret that I have a few challenges right now. The separation and the diet are at the head of the list, but they're not the only items on it. I've been blessed with friends who are helping me with their support, their knowledge and experience. This near hermit has been stunned at how many people have come rallying to my side, and I'm really, really grateful. I've been given practical help. When I was too emotionally and mentally scattered to take charge of some things, one friend sat down with me, helped me tackle the monster at hand and made phone calls that I was too intimidated to make myself. Another has given me hours of listening time, letting me ramble, stumble, repeat myself, go in circles, vent and spew. Such generous gifts of time given so graciously, this is rare for me.

It's getting hard
to distinguish
between baby
and bathwater

Not to blow my own horn, but I'm usually in the role of listener or pitching in somehow. This has been an overflow of love, and it has me a bit off balance. What a problem to have, right?

I'm the sort of person who generally seeks my own counsel. I try to analyze things and figure out a way to improve them on my own. I pray about things and listen for spiritual guidance. If I'm offered advice, I listen as well. Now, I seem to have more people than ever giving me advice. From some there does seem to be some pressure to take their advice with an implication that I would be regarded with less esteem if I don't. From others, the advice is just there if I find it helpful. Either way, I've always felt a strong compulsion to do things on my own, primarily to prove to myself that I can, and that means making up my own mind and choosing my own actions.

Here's the conundrum. What do you do when you receive conflicting advice that is all pretty good? I can't say that anyone has incorrectly assessed any situation about which they're offering advice, and I can't say that anyone is completely accurate. It's getting hard to distinguish between baby and bathwater, which just confirms this was one really dirty baby in the first place.

I know that distancing myself from the problems for a bit would give me a better perspective, but there's the fear that if I do step away, my procrastination will kick in and make everything worse. I'm really good at avoiding things when I want to, and now I need to stay engaged, or at least on top of my time. What all this comes down to is that my head feels like a centrifuge. I just have to have faith that the good and not so good ideas will separate themselves clearly, and I will choose wisely. In the meantime, I'm staggering from all the spins.

decisions