Where's the river?

I've been experiencing an emotional high tide lately which has meant listening to a lot of chick music. I'm rather annoyed with myself about this. Part of me hates to call Joni Mitchell chick music. Her songs are a woman's music. They have a depth, an earthiness and emotional maturity of which girls, even with all the attending drama of youth, can only see hints.

Still, there's that seemingly delicate soprano. The vibrato seems to emerge from nowhere and just grab you with an innocence and vulnerability that can only belong to an eternal girl. But then again, a musician from the liner notes of one of her cds described working with her as smooth as Lablatt's beer and having the fun that only comes from being with a girl who really knows how to cuss. (As is only fitting for someone raised on robbery.) So, whether this is chick music, woman's music or just damn good music, this is the song that's been haunting me.

River

It's coming on christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh i wish i had a river
I could skate away on
But it don't snow here
It stays pretty green
I'm going to make a lot of money
Then i'm going to quit this crazy scene
I wish i had a river
I could skate away on
I wish i had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh i wish i had a river
I could skate away on
I made my baby cry
He tried hard to help me
You know, he put me at ease
And he loved me so naughty
Made me weak in the knees
Oh i wish i had a river
I could skate away on
I'm so hard to handle
I'm selfish and i'm sad
Now i've gone and lost the best baby
That i ever had
Oh i wish i had a river
I could skate away on
I wish i had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh i wish i had a river
I made my baby say goodbye
It's coming on christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
I wish i had a river
I could skate away on.

I don't want to love this song. It's almost become a cliche', but damn. What gets me is that I'm not missing the husband (who is back out of the house). That's the real story of the song, missing someone during the holidays. I've been surprised at how much I haven't missed him. Being separated has some real and serious challenges, but the longer this lasts, the more right it feels. That's not necessarily a good sign, but it's honest. I haven't lost the best baby I've ever had. He did. But I'm the one wishing that I could teach my feet to fly.

music, holidays,separation