Sunday, December 31, 2006

On the cusp

Here I sit, ending 2006 writing in my blog. I guess it's fitting. This blog was a good thing in my life this year. The husband, not wanting to spend New Year's Eve alone either, came over. I was napping when he got here and woke up to find him cleaning up a mess he'd left in the house. Now, he's asleep on the couch while The DaVinci Code plays on the DVD. Well, this is known and it's comfortable. The kittens are romping in the kitchen. One of the dogs is asleep at my feet. The womanchild and her boyfriend are in her room, and I hear laughter. It's cozy. It's home.

Tonight, the boyfriend asked my permission to give her a promise ring he'd already purchased. Lord, she's only 16, but they feel how they feel. I just reminded them both that she will be going to college and if I have my way, graduate school. He heads to a nearby commuter college in January for his core courses. After that, he plans on art school. He is very talented, and I can see him as a teacher as well as an artist. I reminded them both that many years lie between now and when they could fulfill that promise, and that those years can bring changes that they can't anticipate.


It looks like
it's going
to be a
heck of a ride
I said I just didn't want them to set themselves up for broken hearts.

Too serious, too young, but there's little a parent can do. Try to keep them away from each other, and you make the relationship more desirable and according to my inner Machiavelli, harder to control. It's hard to let go enough to let your kid make their own choices and still stand close enough to guide them through what comes with decision making. Tonight, my daughter's eyes sparkled more than the ring she's wearing on her index finger. I kissed them each on the forehead, hugged them both and held my sigh inside. It's always risky to extend your heart, but even when it comes back in pieces, you're better for having taken that risk.

So here, staring down 2006 and looking forward to 2007, I know that the coming year will hold the flush of young love and the complications of old love. That's actually a pretty good beginning, having love in all its infuriating and delightful manifestations play a role in my near future. I know that my journey to better health will continue in 2007. I know that I will continue to grow in my career. I know that my spiritual life is more important than ever, and seeing what discoveries will occur this coming year will be exciting. I know that managing mundane, practical matters has to take a greater priority this year, but it's time to weld them to my dreams. I may enjoy some of the dualities in my life, but it's time to build a few bridges between some of my seeming oppositions. I want to put some muscle and practical action in those dreams. I know that my life will continue on its ever turning spiral, and it will feel like some of the ground I cover in 2007 will be too, too familiar.

It seems I have a lot to anticipate. Some of it will be scary and some will make me cry, but damn, it looks like it's going to be a heck of a ride.

Older New Years thoughts here.

6 Comments:

Blogger Lisa :-] said...

Looks like 2007 is shaping up to be quite the year!

Enjoy it! :-]

January 01, 2007 12:08 AM  
Blogger Jod{i} said...

Cyn
First, Happy New Year!

May we travel a road that enlightens us...fills us with wonder, engorges us with awe...May all the color begin to make sense...and may that peace wrap around us all...

A wild ride, but one worth every moment!

Peace
Jodi

January 01, 2007 7:49 AM  
Blogger more cows than people said...

Cynthia,

I found you through Gannet Girl and I like what my first read offers. I'll be back. And I wish you a most blessed new year.

More Cows

January 01, 2007 10:05 AM  
Blogger gigi said...

A cozy evening to begin, and a heck of a ride to look forward to. Enjoy every moment ~ it passes much too quickly these days.

Happy New Year, Cyn!

January 01, 2007 3:17 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

Funny how those cozy evenings get more and more appealing.

Sixteen. Yikes.

January 01, 2007 3:28 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

Wow...I don't know how I'd handle it if my oldest, even, gave a girl any kind of ring. I know it's inevitable, but I do tell them all the time that their wants and likes are gonna change so many times before they're 25.

Yeah, I'd be hanging on for a bumpy ride, as Mae West would say.

January 01, 2007 8:16 PM  

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