Things change over time

A few weeks ago when the blood pressure went sky high, my doctor basically said that it was time for me to get more serious about weight loss. She knows about the gradual loss I've been working on but let me know that it was time to take it up several more levels. We discussed bariatric surgery, but to be honest, it scares me. I've known several people who've had serious recurrent problems afterwards. I know the technology has changed but still. I also know several people who regained most of their weight. I know a couple who have managed to keep their weight off, but like me, they have either a financial or medical issue that makes cosmetic surgery unlikely. (I would have to have both.) They both have so much loose skin that I honestly think they looked better fat. One agrees with me and regrets the surgery. The other has no vanity whatsoever and just enjoys feeling much lighter. That option is still on the table, but it's going to be further down the road before I really consider it.

My doctor also let me know that my insurance plan now covers Weight Watchers and pretty much told me to go. She has this nasty habit of wanting her patients to be as serious about their health as she is. Well, I wasn't thrilled. I got sent to Weight Watchers when I was ten by my parents, and it's pretty much always had a very negative connotation of restriction and separation for me. The official diet when I was a kid was an extra chore to my mother who pretty much had to cook a separate meal just for me. It made me feel even more different from the rest of the world. Back then, the Weight Watchers program required that pretty much every bite of food from a very restricted list be weighed, measured and recorded, and that was just a burden. Being a kid, I also couldn't take responsibility for what I was eating. At least in my house, you ate what you were served. You ate all of it. You didn't dare say a word if you didn't like it, and leaving the dinner table without thanking mom for preparing the meal was unheard of. We also didn't leave the table without permission, and then we had to do the dishes.

It was a bad early experience with official diets, and it has affected the way I do a lot of things. I firmly believe that kids don't need to be put on diets. It needs to be a family effort where everyone eats healthy foods and participates in some physical activity. Kids need support, and they need to learn proper food and exercise behaviors from seeing them in practice, and they don't need to be made to feel like freaks because they're overweight. They get enough of that everywhere else. Home should be a safe haven, not another place that emphasizes the differences in the world. Childhood obesity is serious, and I won't minimize its problems, but parents also have to accept that children's bodies change and go through phases. A kid who eats decent food can still go through a few chubby years, and parents don't need to over-react. Keep up a healthy menu, encourage physical activity in non-annoying ways, and let kid's bodies grow as they're supposed to. As an obese woman and the mother of a daughter who's healthily recovering from eating disorders, I know that I didn't practice this well.

My bad taste about Weight Watchers aside, I signed up last week and was seriously impressed with the changes in the program. I can break out the scales and measure ounces if I want, but I can also use common sense measurements like "would it fit in the palm of my hand." I can write down everything or not. There are a lot of choices, and here's a biggie for me. Eating fish five times a week is no longer required. I love fresh seafood, but I live hundreds of miles away from salt water, and frozen or canned fish just doesn't cut it. I haven't gone hungry, and I even had a real chocolate bar last night without breaking the diet. I do have to think about what I eat, but I was doing that anyway, just in a different way. Tonight I went to my second meeting, and I had lost seven pounds. That feels pretty good.

I can't think too much about how much I need to lose. In fact, I'm trying not to think too much about losing weight period. That's dangerous ground for me. I'll get overwhelmed. I'll get defeated or obsessive. Instead, I'm trying to think about what I enjoy that's good, nutritious and filling. Tomorrow for breakfast, I think I'll have half a bagel with cream cheese, a couple of clementines and a cappucino. I can look forward to that. I don't resent that. I don't have to worry about that. In fact, I can feel good.

weight loss
Weight Watchers