Sunday, July 16, 2006

More dreams

I just woke from another wild dream. After reading the comments that were left after my entry on anti-depressants, I'm wondering if this is connected to the Celexa. If it is, it will be something I miss if the doctor agrees with me and changes my subscription. Either way, I've got to change the wakefulness that follows these dreams.

Not all my dreams lately have been bad. This one was funny, and the last part got to me in a good way. I was entering a big dance competition, and one of the competitors who was waiting with me could tell by the way I smelled that someone had tried to intimidate me. He told me that whoever had tried to scare me had really gotten to me, and that I should just go home and recuperate. I was wondering if he was trying to psych me out of entering the competition, and I told him that he was right. People had tried to prevent my partner (who looked amazingly like John Goodman) and me from entering the contest. Those efforts, involving RVs, diners, anal retentive rules designed to keep us out and lots of slapstick sneaking around to surprisingly good music composed most of the dream and were more humorous than scary.

What got to me was that I told this anonymous dancer that even though I wanted to win the contest, what I wanted more was just to be in it. Somewhere in my subconscious, I'm dancing onstage. I know that I went ahead and entered. I'd like to think that we won. My conscious mind is encouraged though that despite the scariness of some of my waking thoughts, I know what I want to do and am committed to going on.


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