Observing myself, Imagining myself, part 1

I feel like this could be a portrait of me. It appeals to both my negative and positive self images. The woman is turned away from the world. Her restraint shows in the dark clothing, the carefully tamed hair. Absorbed in her reading, the stiff chair still doesn't allow for her book to be a relaxing, indulgence. That chair is meant for the reading of sermons, stern ones on the edification of character. The background is warm, homey. The desire for beauty shows in the paintings on the wall and the sculpture on the wash stand, but this is a claustrophobic, cluttered room. Shutting the cabinet door and straightening the runner wouldn't make enough improvement to be worth the effort. Despite all this, I love the calm here. This woman may be in a corner of a dark room, but she is intent on her book and the dreams it can breed. Those dreams are so important. For me, dreaming is an act of faith and courage. Dreams are the breeding ground of beauty, the place where we first glimpse the reality that can be. They are the first place where I can turn my face to the world.

Woman Reading, Henri Matisse, 1894



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