Go west, young woman

Over a lunch of PB & J, a young friend and I were discussing her career frustration. She needed not advice but affirmation that her instincts were right. One escapable rule of life is opportunity cost. Doing anything means you can't do something else with that same time. It makes choices so important. Like me, this lady followed the rules. She went to college and made good grades. She's determinedly worked to build a career in the few years since her graduation and been met with little but frustration. The wall she's ran into over and over is our geography. Small town, rural area = limited opportunities. Her degree has overqualified her for most of the jobs available in this area, and finances have not allowed her to just pack up and leave. She's been told over and over that companies expected her to leave as soon as anything better came along because of her qualifications. The problem is that those better opportunities rarely ever come along. They usually go to people who get transferred into the region.

To have anything resembling a professional job, she's ended up working in a field in which she finds no joy. What I told her, she knew. Leave, get out of here. Sock away everything you can for a few months and hit the road. Otherwise, you'll find yourself in my shoes twenty years from now.

I'm really enjoying my new job, and I'm not dissatisfied with my career, but it hasn't been easy trying to find ways to make an end run around these roadblocks. The vast majority of jobs in our area are manufacturing production jobs, and they are far fewer in number than they used to be thanks to the decimation of NAFTA. The closest hospital is the largest employer in a several county region, and it is filled with degreed women doing data entry, wondering if this is why they're still paying off student loans. This region's schools are loaded with teachers who hate their field but know it's a viable career that pays better than most jobs in this region. (Note that I did not say all teachers are like this. I know and highly value many local educators for whom their profession is their calling.) When teachers are seen as well paid, you know an area is poor.

When I was an employment recruiter, I had to disillusion new graduates about their expectations if they couldn't or wouldn't relocate. I'd ask for their anticipated salary and then have to inform them that they wanted around $10,000 more a year for an entry level job than the median household income for their home county. Inevitably their response was anger and then a few months later, sad resignation.

So why do we stay? Roots. (When I first typed that it came out rots. That's just as true.) Our families are here. Our friends are here. The cost of living is comparatively low, just not as low as the incomes. Goodness knows, we have beautiful land and that southern hospitality. I've made my choices and live with them. In living here, I provided my daughter with the mixed blessing of extended family and stayed true to one of my core values of honoring parents and family. Every morning when I watch the sun rise over the tree line, I'm reminded that illumination and growth can happen anywhere. If I had lived somewhere with better employment opportunities would I have had to look so thoroughly to find what truly fulfilled me?

Knowing these things, I still advised my friend to get out while the getting is good. This region is her home and heritage, and it has helped form her admirable character. I want her to have a smooth path in using her potential. I want her to have greater financial rewards than most people enjoy here. I want her to be happy and know her well enough to know that she won't find what she wants here. She thanked me for saying what she knew but wanted to hear from outside of her own head. She still has to make her choices, and I know that wherever she plants herself, she'll continue growing as an incredible woman.

I'm a pretty incredible woman myself, but tonight, I can't help wondering what might have been and what will be.