Wednesday, May 13, 2009
I'm convinced this is a virus. I hurt all over, and I get dizzy just walking across a room. The stupidity is that I feel guilty for feeling weak. There is a part of me that really admires those people who just don't give in to illness, but I know myself. If I don't slow down and take care of myself, this will last longer and have a broader impact than my not getting some chores and errands done. That doesn't change the fact that this makes me feel as weak in character as I do physically. I just wish that everything in my life didn't feel urgent right now, and that every moment not spent on a designated task was time wasted. Maybe I do need to feel that way to get things done. I don't know. I've definitely lost balance here. I can almost see the spinning plate teetering, then crashing to the ground.