Thursday, December 21, 2006

Hello sun

I finally got my picture uploaded! I hope that everyone has a beautiful solstice and for those who celebrate it, a blessed Yule.

Tonight, we will enter the long, dark night of the year, and for some, it will be of the soul as well. The lucky among us will be going to parties or sitting in the glow of Christmas lights. Sometimes I think it's all just a great big crap shoot for who gets to be happy and who has to feel every one of life's blows.

I've learned a lot about happiness in the last year. This last week alone has taught me things that mandate I remain quiet and still. I don't fully understand the seemingly simple events of this week or why they've affected me so. I'm not trying to sound mysterious or make my week into something that looks bigger than it is. I think that I was just lucky enough to get a glimpse under the surface, and I'm still reeling in the "a-ha" of it all, too dizzy to make sense of it to anybody besides myself.

I just know that I feel the light on my face. I think my long, dark night is coming to its natural conclusion. I expect that another will come around in the future, because that's just the way life works. Now, though, I know, I don't just believe that the sun is rising and that light and warmth are returning.

solstice, Yule

3 Comments:

Blogger Gannet Girl said...

Cynthia: Go here: http://magdalenesmusings.blogspot.com/

December 21, 2006 11:12 AM  
Blogger Magdalene6127 said...

Hi Cynthia,

Magdalene here. I appreciate your stopping by my blog. I've been reading some of your posts, and I have been so moved... we have much, much in common.

Tuesday was the one year anniversary of my divorce. It was a separation and divorce I didn't want; my ex fell in love with a co-worker. We saw a counselor for 10 months before he moved out in February 2004. I have to say: my first experience after he moved out was the shock of finding there was more air to breathe in the house, and that I was happier than I'd been in a long time. Within a couple of months I had this thought: I don't want the story of my life to be that S. left me and I never got over it. I believe God has a better life planned for me than that. And you know what? I was right. I am happier today than I have ever been before. Residual sadness, sure. But essentially, very happy. And S. and I have a good and cordial relationship (we both kept the kids as our priority, and for us, that makes all those kinds of decisions easy.

None of which is to say my story has to be your story. But I just wanted to offer a perspective from someone who is several years down the road from the most traumatic Christmas of my life (2003, when he was getting ready to tell me he was leaving). Your path may be completely different. But i promise you there is life down that path, one way or another.

Also, I'm on a diet. But that's for another time....!

December 21, 2006 2:42 PM  
Blogger Lisa :-] said...

After the events of this evening, I feel the same way. I didn't actually realize today was the Solstice...but I think today has marked a return to the days of light and life for me. Maybe I'll write about it...

December 22, 2006 12:28 AM  

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