Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Sickness and loathing

Yesterday, my stomach decided that it and food could not reside in the same body, regardless of my feelings about the matter. By the end of the day, I felt like both had left me. Today the womanchild is going through the same thing. I'm still feverish, water won't stay down, and beyond that I'm mad at myself. I seem to always get sick when I'm busiest at work, and I don't need to take the time off. I'm not functional now though, and I hate it.

I swear, physical weakness feels like a form of being unreliable to me -- not anybody else's, just my own. I've wondered before, looking at the timing of illnesses and accidents in my life, if sometimes, these are manifestations of my self-saboutage. I wonder why I don't extend the understanding to myself that I would to anyone else. It doesn't bother me that the womanchild is curled up and whimpering between spells in the bathroom, instead of at school, but it does bother me that I'm not in my office preparing for that closing, even though there is backup.

Gah, I think I'm going back to bed, and I'm going to take The Prince of Tides with me. Everyone in that book is more miserable than I am, and the writing is sublime. It came after Naked Lunch in the womanchild's stack of assigned reading, and the thought of any kind of lunch is too much for me now.

6 Comments:

Blogger Kathleen said...

It really can be frustrating to be sick. A Helpless feeling. So what to do?? Just as you did..a good book, a warm bed and some self nurturing. Feel better.

October 18, 2006 7:14 PM  
Blogger Cynnie said...

I'm so sorry!
I rarely get sick and when i do I'm suicidal..
Take it easy baby..the world will not stop turning just cause you're not there to supervise..

October 18, 2006 9:12 PM  
Blogger Becky said...

Ack! Hope you feel better soon.

October 18, 2006 10:18 PM  
Blogger Vicky said...

Feel better, my friend

October 18, 2006 11:19 PM  
Blogger Theresa Williams said...

I hope you are better soon, soon, soon.

October 19, 2006 12:39 AM  
Blogger Lisa :-] said...

Okay...I have to give you the restaurant owner's take on this: Most "intestinal bugs" are actually food-borne illnesses. You ingested that bug somewhere along the line. And then, of course, they are sublimely easy to pass along to other members of the household via bathroom towels, shared dishes, etc.

TMI, right? LOL! Feel better soon.

October 23, 2006 10:18 PM  

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