Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Being a pig

The last couple of months have been frustrating ones for me. I won't detail what the lack of anti-depres-sants did again. A lot of work projects have fallen through. Adjusting to the womanchild's impromptu summer schedule has sometimes meant structuring my day around hers, and that's left both of us frustrated with some of our plans not working well. In addition, C. is a person who needs to stay busy. Too much time on her hands means too much time in the darker corners of her mind. Hmm, wonder where she picked up that habit?

So, in the absence of real accomplishment, I'm relying on forward motion and being productive to keep up the family's spirits. When you're not accomplishing your goals, you should at least give yourself credit for continuing to work towards them. Persistence usually does pay off, even if it does feel sometimes like you're slogging through mud. I sound like I'm paraphrasing every poor motivational and pop psychology book on the market, so I'll take a lesson from nature instead. When you're stuck in the mud, you might as well enjoy it, roll around it, feel it squish through your toes, slide down your legs and realize that you're getting the same benefit as if you'd paid an aesthetician big bucks to cover you with the stuff in a spa. Pigs are rumored to be incredibly intelligent, even if they're not the prettiest animals in nature, and I'll take a pig for my role model.

My mud is unsurprisingly puddled at both work and home. At work, I've chosen to prospect like crazy. The hard part about prospecting is that you get shot down a lot more often than you don't. When I'm restoring my emotional balance, that's sometimes very hard to take. I practice my presentations. I've really focused in on listening to myself and hearing the differences in what I'm doing that gets people interested and what doesn't. I'm listening to my potential clients. I'm documenting well and providing myself with good records for followup. I even built a database to increase the efficiency of my contacts. I've made sure that my budget provides for keeping a good supply of marketing materials. The prospecting phase of my job is the hard part, but if I keep it up, it will pay off.

At home, I've realized that the family just doesn't see our home the way that I do, so I've started making a list of daily chores for both the husband and womanchild. Each list is just a few items, one or two for the husband and five or six for the womanchild. So far this beats the heck out of just telling them "do this today," and then getting ticked when I get home to find it undone. Keeping the lists short, instead of letting them see the monster sized list in my head, keeps them both from getting overwhelmed with everything that has to be done. I've chosen a few of the bigger chores and seeing them eliminated feels so good. It may have taken hours, covered my arms with black yucky stuff, left my back aching and my eyes stinging, but my oven is clean. (Where is that EasyOff when you need it?) This is going to help me actually enjoy cooking again, and that will make it all worthwhile.

I may not be achieving life goals right now. I'm writing about things that probably aren't worth writing about, but I'm not stuck. I'm rolling and splashing, and occasionally grinning while I do so. That's more than good enough for now.


Blogger Jod{i} said...

Any movement forward is a good thing! Bravo Cynthia!!! This post gave me encouragement...It isnt always about the what is being done, it is more important that it just is!!!

*Off to find me own mud hole*

June 27, 2006 8:34 AM  
Blogger Paula said...

Great post, great analogy. Inspiring.

June 27, 2006 12:55 PM  
Blogger Lisa :-] said...

You are writing about your life. When you write what you know, it's always worth writing about. And always worth reading. :-]

June 27, 2006 5:18 PM  
Blogger gigi said...

I myself am a firm believer in a good wallow now and again, and I'm glad to see that you're willing to take the time to embrace yours. It isn't always about achieving life goals and having deep thoughts ~ sometimes it's about precisely about not having them.

Now, let's go join those gals scampering off into the wood with japanese lanterns and mischievous smiles ~ they look like fun...! :)

June 27, 2006 5:38 PM  

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