Friday, January 27, 2006

Thoughts from a busy day

Today's Agenda
9:00 - 12:00 Training seminar with vendor
2:00 - 3:00 Double check project summation QA
3:00 - 6:00 Project summation
6:00 - 7:30 Finalize QA and shipment so I can finally get a paycheck!
9:30 - 11:00 Client meeting

After a day like that, you'd think that I'd be tucked in bed with blankets around my shoulders and wonderful dreams rampaging through my subconscious. But no, three hours away from my alarm going off, I'm still wide awake. The energy hasn't burned off, and I feel like I should be dancing instead of quietly reading and writing. I've missed this youthful feeling of perpetual energy. Later today, I'll feel the consequences of my body pretending to still be 20, but now, I'm glad I've got some mentally alert time to myself.

Sometimes I wonder how someone as introverted as I am ended up in working in sales and enjoying it. I know some of the reasons. I do like pushing myself. There's always that urge within me to see if I can accomplish something new and challenging, expand my skills and top what I've done before. I really do enjoy people. I'm reasonably well spoken and a good listener. Meeting external goals is part of my makeup, and so is doing what it takes to provide good customer service. That's the benefit of the double edged gift of being such a good girl and people pleaser.

Sometimes I think that my need for balance may push my personal time into a greater quiet withdrawal than if I didn't expend so much social and psychic energy at work. The waves that break on the beach must return to the ocean, and the moon must wane as well as wax. That's something that I need to watch. I don't want to be mute and withdrawn when I'm away from my job. So far, it's not a problem, but I know the potential exists. Connecting with people can never be something that only falls within a professional capacity. After years of the isolation of caregiving, reconnecting with people is too important to me to ignore. It deserves some energy dedicated to that alone.

This little time writing has helped me wind down. I'm glad tomorrow won't be as hectic as today, and that I have a full tube of concealer for the circles that will be under my eyes after daybreak. Spellcheck and publish, and then I'm off to bed. Wonder what I'll dream.


Blogger Virginia said...

Balance is an elusive goal.

Peace, Virginia

January 27, 2006 4:53 AM  
Blogger Celeste said...

Somedays is 60/40 some 70/30 some may be the other way. In the end balance is achieved.

January 27, 2006 6:29 AM  
Blogger Lisa :-] said...

I don't think of balance as something that I can achieve. It's something that just...happens. And it's not always my idea of what balance should be.

I'm happy for you that you are out there stretching yourself. It's always so epowering to get out there and have victory over something. I need to do the same in MY life, but within the framework of my own business, which is hard, since it's so very part time. But I'm gonna keep plugging...

January 27, 2006 10:38 AM  
Blogger Tammy said...

Balance is a tough one, so I say I hope you had sweet dream:)

January 27, 2006 4:11 PM  
Blogger Paula said...

I've been meaning to email you re the dream thing--read the newest (feb 2006) issue of Reader's Digest. GREAT cover story about dreams--I saw it in the chiropractor's office and asked if I could borrow it...feared it would be hokey but was actually quite informative and I thought of you and judithheartsong right away.

January 27, 2006 6:54 PM  
Blogger Wenda said...

Hope you had time for some dreams. Hope you always have time for some dreams.

January 27, 2006 9:34 PM  
Blogger beths front porch said...

Cynthia, I felt like I could relate to the schedule at the top of your entry. Yet you seem to show me how to achieve some balance by your ability to share such a lovely, poignant entry. I love the image of the waves and how they are tied to balance. I'm gonna think about that today. Some days even the balance of the balance shifts!! hard to figure.--Beth

January 28, 2006 6:51 AM  
Blogger Globetrotter said...

Good gracious Cynthia. Your entire second paragraph could have been a description of myself!

I was successful at sales for all of the reasons that you mentioned, but I also beat myself to a pulp when I lost a deal. 6 years of selling real estate to high end clients, after 10 years dealing with stage mothers was all I could handle!

Now I talk to my paintbrushes, and if they start answering I'll renew my real estate license:)

Take it easy , girl. Enjoy some self-time this weekend.

January 28, 2006 2:03 PM  

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