Thanksgiving wishes

It's Thanksgiving Day, and for once I'm neither hustling to prepare a big meal or drive somewhere to spend the holiday. Our plans have changed and changed again, and I'm just going with the flow. I've been so neurotic lately that I haven't really taken time just to be thankful, and I need to do that. It creates sanity.

Last year, Thanksgiving Day was a miracle of gratitude for my family and me. My daughter had been in an out of town hospital for three and a half weeks. We could only see her for group sessions twice a week and once for a private-except-for-a-camera visit. For Thanksgiving she had earned an eight hour pass, and we could leave the hospital, instead of getting a short visit with a bad cafeteria style meal. She didn't want to enjoy the day. She didn't want to be grateful. She couldn't help but do both. The world holds miracles that we just don't take time to appreciate.

I've been so caught up in everything going wrong or just not the way I want it to, that I've forgotten that. Last year, I was clinging to anything which seemed positive, and gratitude was a lifeline. This year things are much better, and I'm glad about that. Real thankfulness, though, for where my life is now eludes me. I've had a spell of negative days that aren't quite ready to end. I really would like to be grateful, and I'll send out that intention with the hope that it returns with the type of giving thanks that opens my heart and my eyes.