With prayers for all at Virginia Tech

With a tragedy like yesterday's slaughter at Virginia Tech, it's hard not to want to write about it, yet I've really hesitated. The truly important things have been said much better than I could. My thoughts and prayers are with the friends, colleagues and families of those who were senselessly murdered and wounded.

My personal reaction though has frightened me though. Though saddened, I'm not shocked, I'm not appalled, I'm not even really angry. I just feel jaded that events like this no longer stun me. It feels like the real question isn't how or why does this happen, but when and where will it happen next. How did I come to be this way? Over thirty people are dead, most of them closer to childhood than true adulthood. Over 20 more are wounded. Here I sit, feeling like this is just one more tragic but not uncommon event of modern life.

I've always been a sensitive person, and here I sit almost numb. I should be outraged. I should be in tears, and instead, I feel empty, void. As a relatively self-aware person, I know that my recent personal tension has sapped some of my emotional energy, but I feel like there are cultural forces at work here too. Has our world gotten so horrible that this doesn't deserve a stronger gut reaction? We have to be strong and brave enough to feel the hurt a tragedy demands without letting it cripple us. Being numb is just inches away from being callous, and that must be avoided. Callous is really only half alive.

I don't know what to think, except I know that many people are truly hurting over this. The losses are huge, and I wish them peace and strength as they cope with the burden of continuing on. As for myself, I just know that it's time to pray.

Virginia Tech, emotional reactions