Thursday, February 16, 2006

Donning and removing armor

My job involves a lot of ongoing training, but I've learned something this week that hasn't been addressed in any training session. To do this job well, you have to have nerves of steel and a cast iron stomach. Much to my surprise, the nerves are developing their armor, and I've surprised myself by maintaining as much mental and emotional calm as I have. For that I can only thank God/dess, because it is the Spirit which has sustained me. The stress though has redirected itself to my stomach, and the integrity and unity of all things in a person has been much more than an idea bouncing around inside of my head. I'm experiencing it.

My biggest project for the month has been redefined multiple times in the last three days. The schedule, coordinating 12 people from five different groups with different agendas, has been changed 5 times in as many days. It's frustrating, but I feel invigorated for now. I suspect that Friday afternoon I will crash in a big way.

I went to church earlier tonight. Our Wednesday night services are my favorite. They're very small, usually around 12 people, and focused on how we see the Holy Spirit working around us. Because the service is first prayer and then discussion driven, the atmosphere is intensely intimate. Places where I can be safely vulnerable have been rare in my life, and I know that this is helping to open my doors to new possibilities. Most small church groups I've been involved in have always started with a pre-chosen theme that we, as individuals, could then ponder and apply to our lives. Now, the process is reversed, and I am constantly amazed at how a theme emerges from the very different lives that are intersecting. The situations shared and the spiritual development of the people involved are all very different, but underneath the surfaces, we find common answers and common ground. It reminds me that wholeness is not only something within an individual. Whether we recognize it or not, we are connected to every person and every thing in this world. Experiencing that on the deep, gut level has left me with a quiet awe, and tonight, I am very grateful.


Blogger Tammy said...

I'm happy you have found such a great group, where you are safe!
I used to have one before I moved, so I know what you mean.

I hope your Tummy is ok and Friday is not a total crash!


February 16, 2006 12:15 PM  
Blogger ckays1967 said...

Our church has one Wednesday a is my favorite day. It is all worshipping and that is when i feel the Holy Spirit.

February 16, 2006 3:30 PM  
Blogger IndigoSunMoon said...

I haven't been to church in years. I do miss it sometimes.
So glad you found a group that you like.

February 16, 2006 8:46 PM  
Blogger V said...

Your church group sounds very interesting. It`s new to me.

February 17, 2006 5:37 AM  
Blogger Globetrotter said...

I once attended a church like yours that had small services on Wednesday evening. You could tell in those services that the Holy Spirit was really working because there indeed seemed to be a common denominator running through the entire group that reflected the lesson the spirit was trying to teach. It was that small group meeting that allowed us to realize the Power of tapping into the Spirit's power much more so than the huge Sunday gathering.

I really miss that church.

February 17, 2006 8:35 AM  
Blogger dreaminglily said...

I wish everyone had a place like that. Still trying to find mine. Maybe it's just where I'm living but that's definitely not the feel in any churches I've been to.


February 17, 2006 1:28 PM  
Blogger sunflowerkat said...

If religion was always an experience like you describe, the world would be a much better place.

February 19, 2006 1:39 PM  
Anonymous personal development said...

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July 16, 2006 8:21 PM  

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