Saturday, August 18, 2007

Mind sweepings

It's been a week of ups and downs. I found out that I didn't get yet another job, but I'm on the short list if the new hire doesn't work out. Then I had a telephone interview for a job I applied for several weeks ago. I'd almost given up on hearing from them, and of all the jobs I've applied for recently, this one truly excites me the most. It would use both my professional and volunteer experiences in a field for which I truly hold a passion. I was told that a face to face interview will be scheduled in the next couple of weeks. Keep your fingers crossed, include me in your prayers, and send some "the job is Cynthia's" energy this way.

My flat screen monitor died yesterday, less than a month after the warranty expired. Damn it! Last summer when I replaced my old Dell, my little emachine came with a monitor. I thought I'd sold it in a garage sale and was ticked that I was going to have to go out and buy a new one. The husband's hoarder disorder actually paid off for a change. He found the monitor which hadn't been sold after all in his mother's attic. He's home for the weekend, and I'm not sure how I feel about this. More accurately, I'm afraid that I am sure how I feel about this, but I'm not able to own it yet. That's got me a little off balance. It doesn't help that he's telling me how good and how young I'm looking now. I've been praise starved for years, and I don't know if he's finally understanding the toll this has taken on me or not.

This heat is not helping. It was supposed to cool down a bit yesterday, only getting to 98 degrees Fahrenheit, 36.6 Celsius. The time and temperature clock in town read 104 about 2:30. As of Thursday, nine people in Memphis had died from the heat. The number may have risen more by now. I found out at my Weight Watchers meeting that I have three degrees of separation from one of the victims who was found in her garden. My weather widget is predicting 98 for the high again today. The rain that was in the forecast is no longer there. Nine record high temperatures have been tied in Jackson, TN, the hub of my rural region, in the last two weeks.

My new central air/heat pump has been installed outside of my house. On Monday, the last of the duct work should be completed, and I'm hoping that I can finally get my house to a comfortable temperature again. I've never been more grateful for the two window A/C units my friend has let us use, but they really don't cool the whole house. I'm back to carrying a fan around with me as my chores take me from room to room. When I think about people without any relief from this heat, I weep. I can't even imagine the misery of being homeless now, and I think it's time I started carrying some spare water bottles in my car for the few people I see on the streets.

I had a big weight loss this week, 8 pounds, which nicely set off the 7.2 pound gain I had last week. My diet is getting harder and harder going. The ups and downs, the slowing pace of weight loss, and my hesitance to get the kitchen hotter by really cooking are making this more frustrating. I'm still making progress in a three steps forward, two steps back kind of way though. I also fell off the tobacco free wagon on Friday. My mouth tastes terrible. I'm not enjoying it, I'm coughing again, and I'm craving it something awful. It's an excuse and a rationalization, I know, but when I finish this pack, it's back to cold turkey. If cigarettes are in the house, I'm going to smoke them. I know myself that well. They have to be gone completely. I have to put away lighters, matches and ashtrays. I can't have the reminders of my addiction near me. I want to do this though. Repeating myself for the ten millionth time, I will live a healthy life. I'll also call my friend who works at Western State to see if there are any spare straight jackets.

I've a ton of housework to do today, and I want to have some fun too. That will be my challenge for the day. What will truly make me smile? It's a good challenge, I think. I could deal with that challenge every day.



Blogger Wenda said...

Sounds like a hellish time in many ways, but you are also making great strides from my viewpoint. I hope you get the job and find a way out of the smoke again, but whatever the immediate outcome, it still looks like you are moving onward and upward. And that, my friend, is cool!

August 18, 2007 2:40 PM  
Blogger Lisa :-] said...

RE: the job--energy....!

RE: the husband--Damn!

RE: 8 pounds--Cool!

RE: the weather--Damn!

RE: cigarettes--Double damn!



August 19, 2007 12:34 AM  

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