Things to remember when you've lost your glasses

1. The difference between the tube of Rembrandt toothpaste and the tube of Vagisil is a little purple rectangle.
2. The depilatory is in the green can, the mousse is in the blue.
3. Do not store your blue Windex next to your blue spray gel for hair.
4. Drive is the fourth gear on the automatic transmission.
5. Police officers might be able to handle prescription sunglasses in the rain, but not at night.
6. Sacrifice your grace and sit on one foot when you grabbed one navy pump and one black pump. It's better to be thought a klutz than a fool.
7. Do not attempt cleaning your refrigerator until your glasses have been located. Not everything green is a vegetable or edible.
8. When stumbling over something other people see, pretend your mind was on higher matters.
9. Remember that the hunky guy you met may look entirely different with your spectacles and may not be a guy.
10. It's a good excuse to go girly and let a guy order from the menu for you.
11. Since everybody looks at least five years younger than normal, compliment liberally, and no one will complain when you run into them.

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